You spend the day making no effort whatsoever to gather the fifty thousand dollars. You think about Kim. You destroyed your relationship with Kim, kicked it in the knees at every turn. And this morning, you got to crawl inside the wreckage and draw from it bliss. You think about the sex you just had and why it was so much better than the sex you used to have when you were together. You know the thrill of the forbidden added some of the kick. But there was something perverse about it too.
What the fuck is wrong with me? you think. Who am I to save that girl? If she lives through the kidnapping I'll just be the one to end up hurting her. Fuck this.
You rip the phone cord from the wall and carry the phone into the kitchen to get your bottle of Maker’s Mark. Back in your chair, you begin drinking quietly while staring at the wall in front of you. You realize the phone is still in your hand. You take another sip from the bottle, and then you fling the phone across the room to crash into pieces against the wall.