Just Make A Choice!

At around 11:40 you get bored waiting for the kidnappers to call, so you dial your ex-girlfriend Kim to try and make sure you’re the last person she talks to before bed. You’re glad to be out of the relationship, but you don’t want her to move on with her life either.

“This is the fifth night this week,” she says groggily. She was asleep. “You know this doesn’t work right? I’m not going to dream about you just because you’re the last person I speak to before I fall asleep.” Kim’s getting a master’s in Psychology. She spent eight years after college trying to get steady work as a theatrical costume designer and temping to pay rent, but she got sick of being poor and listening to actors whine about chafing.

“This isn’t like when I called because I saw that shooting star or when I couldn’t find my Veruca Salt CD,” you say. “I really have something to tell you this time. I’ve had a big day.”

You tell her about the kidnapping, and about Lenny coming back from the dead to convince you to give up on acting. Kim asks if you were seeing Julia before you and she broke up. She finds it hard to believe that you went on one date and you’re already rescuing her from kidnappers and giving up on your dreams for her.

“She’s from out of town,” you say. “And Lenny came back from the dead. He was still fifteen and still wet and nude. How could I not do what he says?”

“I don’t want you to call me anymore,” Kim says. “This is hurting me. I need us to cut off all communication.”

You get a call-waiting but you don’t answer because you don’t want to hang up on Kim. Her declaration has sent you into a panic that you never would have predicted. You try to convince her that the two of you can stay friends and you’ll respect her boundaries, but she interrupts you.

“It’s 12:02,” she says. “Wasn’t the kidnapper supposed to call at midnight?”

Another call-waiting comes in.

“You have to take that. That girl could die,” Kim says. Then she hangs up.

Your stomach is in knots when you click over to the other line.

"Hey, it's Chet," you hear. “What the fuck?

"Chet?"

"The kidnapper, idiot. I called at midnight but you didn’t answer."

"The kidnapper?”

Chet sounds annoyed. "Yes. The kidnapper. What did you fucking forget?"

"I just didn't think you'd offer your name like that," you say. "Since kidnapping is illegal and all."

Chet takes a second. "Maybe it's a fake name."

"Is it?"

"Look, do you have the money or are we gonna have to kill your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend," you say. "Yes, I have the money. Where should I bring it?"

Chet says, "Tomorrow at noon. The 10K Marathon for Breast Cancer Research. The finish line. And remember, no police. I repeat, do not call the police."